WEEK 43: Who's Dummy?

Hello to my beautiful family and friends! I've been thinking about y'all a lot this week. Every week when I go through and add your emails into my weekly I just smile and think how much your love and friendship means to me! I just wanted to say that I love you, I miss you, and I am forever grateful for your support!

We had exchanges with Sister Scott and Sister Coon this week, and it was great! I've never served around Sister Coon before, and I learned a lot about diligence and consecration from her. We switched after lunch, and I spent the rest of the day with Sister Scott.

My embarrassing story from this week comes from my time with Sister Scott. I saw a person out of the corner of my eye as we passed by a driveway on our way to knock a door. In a bold attempt to talk to everyone, I turned around and strutted confidently up to the gate. Without hesitation I gave the biggest, friendliest wave I could muster, and cheerfully said, "Hey!" to the figure, hoping my voice would carry through the wind and across the long driveway. However, mid-greeting and with my arm flailing in the air, I realized (too late!) to my immediate chagrine and embarrassment that the figure I had seen, turned around for, and yelled at, was nothing more than a boxing practice dummy. Yep. I tried to street contact a dummy. Whose dummy? Not sure, there was actually no living person outside. Who's the dummy? It's me. It was very embarrassing. I'm still trying to dust off my ego, but it provided some comedic relief for the rest of my exchange with Sister Scott. 

We moved Gavin and Aiden's baptism date to May 13th, as they didn't make it to church last Sunday, and we still have a lot to teach them. But, we had a great lesson on Wednesday night while reviewing the Plan of Salvation! Their knowledge of Jesus Christ is definitely increasing, and its so exciting to see how far they've come. We're getting creative with ways to include object lessons and games in our teaching to help the boys stay focused and excited, so if you have any classic object lessons about the gospel, please send them my way! We played Jenga this week and applied it to the Great Apostasy and the Restoration of Christ's Church--as pieces and doctrine were lost throughout time, the church eventually fell. But, God has restored every piece through priesthood power and continuing revelation, and we know that Jesus Christ's church will never be lost again. Jenga was a huge hit.

William's date got pushed one more week (we'll get there one day, folks!), due to a nasty sickness that took him and the family out for almost 2 weeks. We have had no way to have personal contact with him so we've had to get creative with how we stay in touch. The family's had no working phone for about a month, and we aren't allowed to visit the home, due to unsafe living conditions. So, we've just been praying mightily, and our wonderful members have stopped by this week to check in, give him a priesthood blessing, and to deliver our necessary messages and assess the situation for us. It's been crazy and has required a lot of patience on our end, but our members follow through and William is just as steady as ever. He came to church on Sunday, despite still being a bit under the weather. That was just what we needed to reschedule his baptism interview for Tuesday night! Any extra prayers you can muster to help William 1) with his interview, and 2) his family to recover quickly, are greatly appreciated. If all goes smoothly, he should be set for Saturday, April 29th!

Alright. I've avoided talking about this for a while, but I told myself that I would be open and honest in my weekly emails. (Please note that there is no cause for alarm, and my only hope in sharing this is to share how actually downright difficult missions can be, and it's normal and natural for missionaries to have hard times. This is just one of mine). But missions are hard, and the past couple months have been really hard. The situation with our recent converts, Vance and Sara, has worsened since their baptisms, and Vance is now marked as a Do Not Contact for missionaries. Due to the nature of the situation, I can't really give details. But it's heartbreaking, and as one of the only missionaries who has been through this journey with the two of them, I often feel alone in carrying the burden. I feel a lot of guilt and sadness regarding them, and the events that have taken place recently are troubling. A lot weighs on me and every day has been hard to get through. I think I've pushed myself too hard and have burnt myself out, using all of my mental and emotional resources without taking the time to replenish them. I've been running on fumes for quite a few weeks, and I feel weary.

But, this trial has allowed me to gain a deeper testimony of grace. Grace is divine help or strength given through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I've had to rely on my trust that God's promises will be fulfilled, and that He will catch me when I fall. In fact, He expects me to fall. He wants me to fall, because that is when He can truly show me that He has always been there. But I have to put in the effort to keep walking, even when I can't see the next step in front of me. I have put Jesus Christ's promises to the test, and I have seen them be fulfilled. Not every single promise or blessing will be recieved in this life, but I have been given strength to move when I physically can't take another step or pedal my bike another foot. I've been given the love of God for the people that I see and talk to, when I can't summon any charitable feeling on my own. I've been given thoughts and words from the Spirit when I thought I was too mentally exhausted to continue carrying a conversation or teaching the gospel. I have way too many thoughts to fit into just one email, but I do want to share a sweet passage from the scriptures.

3 Nephi 13:28-33 / also see Matthew 6:28-33:

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;

29 And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

"8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;..."

I am trusting in these simple scripture verses spoken by Jesus Christ. I don't have to have everything -- I can't always have everything that I need to do this work. But when I move forward and faith and trust that "it shall be given [me] in the very hour"(D&C100:6) that I need it, and I will recieve it. Living with blind faith is hard, but when we allow ourselves to trust God, our lives move into the "realm of the miraculous" and we open ourselves up to the grace of Jesus Christ. I'm being taught what faith truly is, and I am learning that I need to develop more patience in God's plan. But this too shall pass, and I know that I will be better because of it.

If you stuck around through this whole thing, thank you. No one is alone in their struggles, and hopefully my sharing this had helped someone out there feel a little less alone. Be kind to yourself. Let Christ carry you for a while. Then pick yourself back up and keep moving. You've got this.

Love,

Sister Malmstrom

231 W Horizon Ridge Pkwy #2226 Henderson, NV 89012

 Pictures

- We baked a cake!

- Bike mode always and forever.

- Dust bowl vibes.

- Out and about with Sister Scott (pre-boxing dummy fiasco).

- Rose bushes!

- Street contact with boxing dummy = attempted but not successful.

- Finishing exchanges!

- One of our members has the most picture-perfect rose garden!

- Slurpees from 7-Eleven can solve any problem. (Not really, but it's nice to pretend that they can).

- Buster, the tiny tortoise!

- After the Where You Go, I Will Go choir performance, with Sister Kingsley! Shameless plug: If you're free Saturday the 29th at 7:30pm and are near Salt Lake, go to the Assembly Hall at Temple Square and watch this concert! The musicians and pieces are beautiful. Plus, Sister Kingsley is in it and she's my favorite person ever!